Shadow of Death

Sometime last year I bought a book entitled GRACE: an invitation to a way of life. Though I've been told all my life, don't judge a book by it's cover, I did. I bought the book because I liked the title... it so aptly described what grace is about!


Upon further investigation of the inside, I have found it to be just as good as its title. The book is somewhat like a devotional journal with questions mixed with readings that go through Psalm 23. I wanted to share something I was reading from it this week:

What is the "valley of the shadow of death"? In the original Hebrew, the words translated "shadow of death" are all actually just one word... The literal translation is "deep darkness."

It is used to describe the darkness people try to hide in when they cover evil actions (see context in Job 24:13-16 and 34:22), the feeling that accompanies rebellion against God (Psalm 107:10-14 ), and God's judgment (Jeremiah 13:16). It can describe confusion (Job 12:22), sadness (Job 16:16), or physical places like a lonely desert (Jer. 2:6) or a mine shaft (Job 28:3). It can signify the darkest moments of the night (Amos 5:8).

It is certainly no coincidence that the prophet Isaiah used this term when he predicted the coming of Jesus, the One who ultimately dispels spiritual darkness (Is. 9:2). "The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death, a light has dawned."

It's really amazing to think that this word is used in the Bible to describe the darkest things of life, the times when we feel cut off from God, even when it's the result of our own rebellion--God doesn't leave us alone. Psalms 23: 4 says that even there, in those dark valleys, God is with us! Wonderful, Merciful , Gracious God! And in those valleys we can walk, fearing no evil, because He is there.

Shades of Autumn

a broken picture...

We often think that when OUR picture of God breaks, then that means God is broken. But...

Until our picture of God is broken and we chose not to put it back together ourselves, to let it break...only then can we truly be humble, and let Him put it back together for us, in a way far more beautiful and amazing than we'd ever imagined.

When we think that we can hold God in our hand (and say I have Him all figured out), then He can't really hold us in His hand.

~byproducts of a conversation with Emily last Sabbath : )

The Same Peach

I had yet another enlightening conversation with a two-year old the other day:

Seth wasn't happy about the peach on his plate...It took me a minute to fiqure out what the problem was.

"You want Anaya's peach?"

"Yets."

"But I divided up the same peach!--it's on both of your plates..." I said in desperation.

God reminded me: Saralyn, don't you do that to me too sometimes...wishing for someone else's blessings...when my grace is the same for everyone. My Son has paid the price for all...He's the "same peach." Why do you want something else when I've already given you everything you need?

Tickling God?

The other day, Anaya, my 4-year-old friend, and I were talking about heaven...how wonderful it would be and what we were looking forward to about it.

"I'm going to tickle Jesus!" She excitedly told me. I laughed. Then smiled. Why anyone would enjoy such a thing is beyond my comprehension since I've always considered it to be merciless torture. Perhaps "tickling Jesus" would sound sounds sacrilegious to some. But context can make all the difference. To her, tickling is a wonderful thing, one of the greatest joys, and purest delights--why wouldn't Jesus want to be tickled too?!

I'm so glad that God knows our hearts. We've been told that Jesus knows everything we go through, everything we feel. His heart cries when we cry. He rejoices when we rejoice. So surely, He would understand a little child's gift of one of her favorite things.

After a brief pause, I said, "I'm sure Jesus would love to have you tickle him..." In my mind I pictured Jesus smiling and laughing with her, enjoyed her excitement. "You know, there's lots of ways we can tickle God?" I began..."there's lots of things we can do that make Him happy just like tickling makes you happy." I think I began to lose her attention here, but it got me thinking.

What do you do that tickles God's heart?

mosey pe-ase

God uses children to teach me so many lessons....
I've had lots of chances to learn things today, but one incident stands out above the rest:

"more mosey,"
(cup taps on table)
"mosey," "mosey pe-ase"

echo from across the table
"smosthey! smosthey!"

after a few times I fiqure out that to one and two-year old boys, mosey and smosthey is what I call smoothie. I laughed at the sight of them there sippy cups in hand, still part-way full but wanting more "smosthey." Finally I pour a few more drops into their cups and they start drinking them again. But this doesn't last long.

"more mosey,"
(cup taps on table)
"mosey," "mosey pe-ase"

echo from across the table
"smosthey! smosthey!"

"But you don't need anymore," I told them, "you still have more left in your cup. I'll make more smoothie if we need it. Drink what you already have then I can give you more." Silently I was thinking and that way it won't get wasted when you don't use it all...

At that moment God reminded me, that's the way I feel about the blessings I place in your life. So often you want to make sure you'll have "enough" before you share. So often you refuse to empty your cup, to give all your life, all that you are, have, think, do... to me. And I can't fill you when you do that. I won't run out of blessings to give you, but there's no point in my giving them when you aren't going to need or use them. I long to pour out so much more to you than I do, but until you give what you have, how can I?

Live Out Thy Life...

For me 'twas not the truth you taught,
To you so clear, to me so dim;
But when you came to me you brought
A sense of Him.

And from your eyes He beckons me,
And from your heart His love is shed;
Till I lose sight of you and see,
The Christ instead.

~Author Unknown

Chicken Nurse?

"Saralyn.... will you look at the chicken's foot?"

Our friends recently got some chickens, and last Friday the poor bird got his toe stepped on...the vet's was closed for the weekend....being a nurse and having worked at a vet's office in the past evidently qualified me to take a look at the chicken...

I offered up a prayer as I walked out to the driveway, "God, please give me wisdom, I don't know anything about chicken's feet!!"

The toe looked swollen and crooked... after deciding the lump wasn't where a joint would be, I concluded a broken toe must be the answer...

What would you do for a broken chicken's toe?

slowly and gently pull the toe straight... bandage tape and q-tips to splint it...

poor fellow, I don't think he appreciated the addition to his foot...

Originally, I had wanted to start working as a nurse this summer... but it seems I've still been able to have some interesting "nursing" experiences just being at home--from my grandma's heart attack to setting broken chicken toes.

I used to think I wanted to be a vet. And I guess there's still that side of me that would enjoy being a small town vet. But I'm glad that God had a better plan. A plan that involved working with people and not just animals, but also a plan that still lets me help out with the little things of the animal world too... I'm glad for the those little things of life, and glad that my big God cares about something like broken chicken toes.

"Look to the birds"

Some friends from church found this small nest out in their yard the other day.

Look to the birds of the air;...Are you not much more valuable than they?...Do not be afraid little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom...

Matthew 6:26; Luke 12:32

Goodbyes & Lessons

One week ago I stayed up till about 3:30 in the morning with my sister as she finished last minute packing...then Tuesday morning my parents took her to the airport three hours away to fly to Bolivia.

Having my sister leave was a lot harder than I had thought it would be. I've had to say goodbye to my sisters before, but I've never really had to consider the fact that we might not all be able to be together again on this earth. And yet, what a wonderful hope we have in Christ! Goodbye is not forever.

All day long on Tuesday, I was fighting back tears threatening to spill out of my eyes. I was so happy that she was going, I wouldn't want her to stay here, and yet I was already missing her so much. When Amy called from the Los Angelos airport later that night, Karie answered the phone since I was cleaning the kitchen. Saralyn, it's Amy! pick up the phone! I walked over to my Mom's desk where the phone was, but I couldn't pick up the phone right away, first I had to gain control over the sudden storm of tears that had errupted from what seemed like nowhere...so it took a minute before I could talk on the phone. That was the last time I talked to her since she left.

Later that night, I was in the shower and just talking to God about everything that was going on in my life. I'm so tired of telling the people I love goodbye. Why is it so hard to say goodbye God? Then a thought that had never occured to me before, hit me like a bolt of lightning. God said, Now you know what I felt when I let my Son leave home to come to your earth. Now you know more what that pain of separation was like for me.

Honestly, I've never thought of it this way before. I have often thought about what Jesus had to give up--heaven, being in a place where there is perfect love, face to face communion with His Father, being surrounded by angels all ready to do His bidding... but what about the relationship, the closeness of Father and Son, what was it like to let Him go?

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. ~John 3:16

I know that my sister and friends who are going all over the world are safe. Because their lives are in God's hands, they are going to do His will, and so no matter what happens, thier salvation is secure in Christ. What is a little sleep now until that day when we see Him face to face? No, it doesn't take away the pain, but God gives hope in the midst of it. I know that this hope is the only reason I can go on living in this sinful world. But I think must be easier for me than it was for God. What if something had gone wrong in the plan? God is perfect, and so are His plans, but Jesus had the same opportunity to choose God or not as we have in every temptation. And if He had failed, we'd be lost. Would this have also meant eternal separation for Father and Son? I don't know for sure, but if so, then He has taken such a greater risk than we'll ever have to take. To me, the thought that He would be willing to risk so much, is more than I can comprehend. It's totally not human, that's for sure. And such a God is safe to trust, wherever He calls, wherever He leads, calvary shows that God is selfless and 100% safe to trust. Seeing this love enables us to give no mater the cost too. What wondrous love is this!

What Everyone Can Do...

This morning, Karie shared a paragraph with me that she'd read in Ministry of Healing. We both really liked this story because it takes the gospel commission and makes it something that anyone who knows Jesus can do. Many times, I think I don't know very much. What can I do? But Jesus has done something for me, this is enough! This in itself is the qualification. All I'm called to do is to share what He's already done.

(The context for the story is in Matthew 8 & Mark 5.)
Two helpless men, so controlled by Satan that no one could stand to be around them, the disciples fled them in terror, and when their Savior appeared they charged at Him to kill him.

This situation didn't alarm Jesus. He'd just stilled a storm on the sea, and He knew the longing deep within the stormy hearts of those demoniacs, and He knew that He was able to still this storm too. (Oh, for that kind of peace in the face of such a storm... I know it's only possible if I stand next to this Jesus, and let Him brave the storm for me.)

Soon there were two healed men, two transformed me, two men who were lost but now found. They sat there at Jesus' feet. They wanted to never be separated from Him who had showed them such mercy, love and blessing. But in His wisdom, Jesus had another plan. Go, go back home.

"The two restored demoniacs were the first missionaries whom Christ sent to teach the gospel in the region of Decapolis. For a short time only, these men had listened to His words. Not one sermon from His lips had ever fallen upon their ears. They could not instruct the people as the disciples who had been daily with Christ were able to do. But they could tell what they knew; what they themselves had seen, and heard, and felt of the Savior's power. This is what everyone can do whose heart has been touched by the grace of God. This is the witness for which our Lord calls, and for want of which the world is perishing." ~Ministry of Healing, page 99

This story is like a mini picture of the Great Controversy.

Jesus came to their town. The people there begged Him to leave, so He did. (Love won't force itself where it isn't waned. It can't stay when asked to leave.) But Jesus didn't give up on the town. He sent the healed men back to their hometown area. Maybe they'd get who He was if some of their own people went and told them. (Sometimes God in all His power is too much for we humans to take.)

Jesus came to our world. We rejected and crucified our Savior. He died and later went back to heaven. But this doesn't mean He's not intensely interested in what's going on here or about people's misconceptions of His love. He doesn't give up! When Jesus went back to heaven, He sent His disciples out as His representatives.

Later in Jesus' ministry, He returned to the Decapolis area, and this time the people received him gladly. What does this say to me regarding my role and position in the Great Controversy today? He's coming back!

Upon Every Flower

"God is love," is written upon every opening bud, upon every spire of springing grass. The lovely birds making the air vocal with their happy songs, the delicately tinted flowers in their perfection perfuming the air, the lofty trees of the forest with their rich foliage of living green--all testify to the tender, fatherly care of our God, and to His desire to make His children happy.
~Keys to Happiness, pg. 2

God gave me a special blessing the other day! About a week and a half ago, Karie graduated from high school...after the program was done, there were a lot of flowers left over...it's a rather long story, but one of the ladies who was taking them home asked if I wanted a few flowers, then before I knew it, she was offering me the entire boquet. I left the place with an armload of flowers almost too big to hold! To me, it was a special gift from my heavenly Father who knows how powerfully each blossom speaks to me of His love.

Backpacking Lesson

Sitting on a rock in the middle of the South Fork of the Smith River

Surrounded by mountains reaching the sky

Trees pointing ever upward towards their creator

The sound of the water rushing over some rocks and pounding into others,

A deafening roar.

I'm keenly aware that to slip off this rock would likely mean great injury

or death, The water is so strong.

And yet, to be out like this, miles from any telephones, cities, cars...

It's so wonderful.

My Father's voice is so much more distinct.
His power is so evident. Life's purpose seems so clear.
And yet, as I realize how big He is,
I realize how much I don't know, don't understand His limitlessness...

As I pray,
I ask, God is there more you want to tell me?

The next morning, I open my little Bible. He guides my hands to Psalm 147, and whispers,

"[I] delighteth not in the strength of the horse: [I] taketh not pleasure in the legs of a man. [I] taketh pleasure in them that fear [me], in those that hope in [My] mercy." (vs. 10 & 11)

Just think--the God of the universe isn't impressed with the greatness of His mountains, the strength of horses or bears that He's made, or in the abilities of man...I love to climp to the top of a mountain and look down. Sometimes I stop and think, wow, my legs brought me all the way up here! But this is nothing to God. He cares, but only because He cares about me, not because He's so impressed at my strength, which isn't much anyway.

What He takes pleasure in is my awe of Him. What brings Him joy is when I believe in and hope in His mercy! Mercy--is that not what we all want, what we all need, what He freely offers? He says stop trying to do it all in your own strength. Trust me, hope in my mercy. Let me be your Savior.

I sit in thoughful silence for awhile... wow, God. Thanks. Thanks for reminding me what you really want from me--not my strength but my need of and faith in your mercy.

To Make a Difference

This morning, I got an email from friends with AFM in Ireland. The end of their letter had a thought that I found simple but profound and far reaching... Something for all to consider as we try to share His love. They wrote,

"The longer we’re here, the more we’re convinced that the single biggest thing we can do to create the influence we need and want to create is to retain a physical presence. There is no amount of stuff we do, literature we send out [or] things we build that can communicate the same message as a personal commitment to the people by giving of our life by being a member of their community. This is at the heart of how God does it, and it cost Him everything. Any day He could have decided [He'd] had enough dust, disease and sleeping on the ground and gone back to His throne [in] heaven; but He stayed until His work was done—and it made a difference, all the difference."

The Best White Uniform Ever

“There’s sure a lot of nurses here today…” one father commented as he walked his two small sons into school that morning.
“Why are all the doctors here?” curious and nervous children questioned.

“I guess I’ll have to go on the loudspeaker and announce that there are no shots today,” the school principal told me with a smile, “they’ve seen you all walking around and want to know why the doctors are here and they’re worried they have to get shots.”…

I laughed a little at her comment. Apparently, our white lab coats were creating a bit of a stir amongst the elementary school children that morning. My fellow nursing classamates and I were only there to help out with the health screening going on that day, but to the small sets of eyes looking up at us, our appearances threatened more than that.

It’s not the first time my white nursing lab coat has had people thinking I’m a doctor… my first day of clinicals in the hospital I remember walking into a patient’s room and the elderly man and his wife asking me if I was the doctor. “Oh, no,” I was a little surprised and amused. “I’m just a student nurse!”

A uniform. It’s something that you wear on the outside that really says very little about who you are inside. And yet, I’ve found that the uniform I wear does influence the way I act… When I go to the grocery store after clinicals, I’m keenly aware of my very-white, obvious appearance and the many admonishings from nursing faculty (about properly "representing the medical profession") roll about in my mind… As I interact with my patients, these thoughts go beyond just what people will think of the medical profession… my school’s name is on my uniform too. Even when I take my nametag off, there is still the large “Southern Adventist University School of Nursing” badge sewn on my front coat pocket. People see it and ask about the school. Really though, it goes beyond just representing Southern Adventist University… SAU is a Christian school, so I’m representing Christ when I wear that name around…

Sometimes I don’t feel like a nurse; I feel like a very out-of-place person in such a bright white uniform. People have high expectations of Southern’s nursing program. The school of nursing has high expectations of their students. And though I love nursing, I often feel very unqualified to bear the title I soon will bear … (RN--Registered Nurse, someone who has gone through at least two years of nursing school, graduated, survived nursing boards, and is someone who you can walk up to at church or home, ask any medical question you wish to, and expect they'll have the answer ;) )

When you put on a uniform, sometimes your behavior has to change. Some behaviors just don’t go with wearing that uniform. For example, I like climbing trees, but I would never climb them in my white uniform...

Christ has covered me with a white uniform too. His perfect robe of righteousness. It makes me look better than I really am. It's a whole new identity. Sometimes people think I’m someone I’m really not, cause they see Him, not my inadequacies. It influences the way I act. Sometimes I don’t feel righteous, but I’m still covered by Him. Sometimes I don’t feel very qualified to bear the title I bear—Christian, a follower of Jesus. Sometimes there’s behaviors in my life that must change. Sometimes even apparently “good” things just don’t belong in a Christian life… When I say I’m a Christian, people have high expectations. Do they find Who they're looking for?

See, I have taken away your sin, and I will put rich garments on you...
~Zech. 3:4

Yet you have a few people in Sardis who have not soiled their clothes.
They will walk with me, dressed in white, for they are worthy...

Hallelujah!
For our Lord God Almighty reigns.
Let us rejoice and be glad
and give Him glory!
For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
and His bride has made herself ready.
Fine linen, bright and clean,
was given her to wear.
(Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of the saints.)

~Rev. 3:4 & 19:8